Plot Summary:Natalie Portman hosts this episode and Fall Out Boy is the musical guest. The Cold Opening is a Message from President George W. Bush(Will Forte) who addresses the public on issues of secret White House activity and Vice-President Dick Cheney's(Darrell Hammond) hunting accident. Natalie Portman's Monologue consists of her tackling questions raised by "Star Wars" nerds in the audience. Repeat of Nelson Baby Toupees commercial from January 21, 2006, which spoofs Hair Club For Men commercials. Three over-psyched Jamba Juice employees (Portman, Seth Meyers, Horatio Sanz), have had so much of their own high-energy protein drinks, that they can't stop themselves from offering free boost supplements to their customers. Larry King(Fred Armisen) interviews a group of trans-gendered people who are in the middle of their sex change procedures. TransAmerica star Felicity Huffman(Kristen Wiig) is one of his guests. In the third installment of The Needlers, Dan(Meyers) and Sally Needler(Amy Poehler) seek help from a fertility doctor(Portman) so they can have a baby as an alternative to examining the issue of their troubled marriage. TV Funhouse celebrates a belated Black History moment; 24's Dennis Haysbert(Himself) shows clips from all-black kids' cartoons that failed to make an impact during the 1990's. Nuni Schoener(Portman) brings her college boyfriend Jeff(Jason Sudeikis) home to meet her parents, Nonny(Armisen) and Nunni(Maya Rudolph). Weekend Update with Tina Fey & Amy Poehler includes Donald Trump(Hammond) disguising himself as Martha Stewart in order to pump his own ego over their "Apprentice" feud, Olympic skater Sasha Cohen(Portman) attempting a second career as a comedienne, and Kenan Thompson introducing a new clothing line geared toward black men in drag. Former "Wake-Up Wakefield" co-host Sheldon(Rachel Dratch) has a Bar-Mitzvah, and watches his short-term ex-girlfriend(Portman) make out with his friend Jonah(Andy Samberg), while Megan (Rudolph) dreams of marrying Adam Levine. This SNL Digital Short is a Chris Parnell interview with Natalie Portman, who raps about a side of herself we've never seen before. Repeat of the Totally Rad Smoke Detector 3000 commercial from episode airing October 29, 2005. Fall Out Boy performs "Dance Dance" and "Sugar, We're Going Down."
4 March 2006 (Season 31, Episode 13)